Time doesn't heal all wounds
by ParaNitroChick
Summary: After Druces' revelation Rip Hunter isn't doing so well. I wanted to write this in the physical settings of "Destiny" but the time council didn't really work for what I wanted. So here in lies my story. Contains lots of Angst and eventually some comfort. This is my first Legends of Tomorrow story. Now Complete: For Now
1. Guilt and Sorrow

_"No matter what you do it will happen; and there's nothing you can do to stop it."_

 _"No I acted without your consent, in defiance of your orders. Everything I have done had been to save my family! No one Controls Me!"_ _Rip said Angrily. Beginning to feel lightheaded and sick to his stomach._

 _"We counted on that." Druce said "Your anger, on you going rouge. We needed something to spur you on, to give you purpose." Rip couldn't believe what he was hearing, the sick feeling turning to nausea._

 _"That's why we ordered Savage to kill your family." No, Oh God, No! Rip bent forward sure he was going to vomit. It felt like Druce's words cut right through him. He began screaming and Druce just laughed. His head began to spin, "Ordered Savage to kill your family; No Matter what you do it will happen. Nothing you can do." Rip began to scream and then he felt himself falling...Visions of Miranda and Jonas dead flooded his mind. Savage killing them ruthlessly right in front of him, forced to watch in his own_ mind. Black…

Rip awoke; heart pounding, stomach churning. It took him a moment to get his bearings and realize he was back on the Waverider, safe and in his own quarters. Druces' words still echoing from his all too fresh nightmare. _"That's why we ordered Savage to kill your family."_ Rip shuddered. He sat on the end of his bed head in his hands breathing slowly attempting to calm his churning stomach. The confrontation with Druce and his men along with loosing Snart had taken a toll on him as well as the others. Rip felt responsible for these young people he had recruited for this mission. A harsh breath escapes him; Mission…More like a failure. What he thought was a mission to save his family and turned out to be a farce.

 _"We've been using the Occulus to manipulate you."_

He heard Druce say again in his racing mind. How could he have been so stupid he thought to himself. Rising from the bed to try to ease the nausea that had taken hold he began to pace the small room he occupied. Walking to a small table he picked up a photo of his family, trying desperately to hold back tears. _"No Matter what you do, it will happen_." Rip shook away the memory, trying to calm himself but losing the battle. _"We needed something to spur you on, to give your purpose."_ Rip placed the photo back down and placed his hands on the table for support, breath becoming shallow as he fought back the increasing nausea. It didn't appear to be working.

His mind racing now he was losing the battle against his stomach, as he felt the bile rise he stumbled to his bathroom dropping to one knee in front of the toilet. A harsh gag resonating from within producing nothing. Disgusted with himself and heartsick for his family he couldn't stop the thoughts from coming.

 _"You and your team have been moving through the course of time, we redirected it."_

Rip felt bile rising again; Oh God what had they done; allowing a monster like Savage to roam freely through time he thought. Did that make him a monster to? He had no further time to process this though as he leant forward vomiting profusely into the bowl his hands white as he fiercely gripped the rim for all he was worth. Druces' words echoing once again through his head.

 _"That's why we ordered Savage to kill your family."_

Oh God, I've killed my family! Hot tears spilled from his eyes as he continued to vomit trying to rid himself of the guilt and shame he felt for what happened to his family and Snart by allowing Savage to live. Eventually the vomiting ceased but the unrelenting nausea persisted. He slid down the wall using it for support; completely spent from vomiting. His face wet with tears, he didn't feel any better or more at peace. Savage would have to pay for what he did one way or the other. He couldn't bring his family back no matter what he did. He now knew as a time master, the past truly couldn't be changed for his family. He would always wind up here. Emotions wrung out; facing endless guilt for what had transpired. Tears began falling again unabated.

After a while he stood feeling dizzy, lightheaded and tired; no doubt from dehydration. Spent physically and emotionally he left the bathroom and went back to his bed grabbing some water on the way. Laying down he fell into a fitful sleep plagued with more nightmares. Dreams of his wife and son in happier times, followed by shear despair as he found them murdered again and again.

Waking again to vomit what little was left he repeated the harsh routine; not knowing yet that someone was watching him. Someone who at one time grieved their own loss and knew what Rip was going through. Someone who wanted to let him know it would be okay and that Savage would one day die.

So that's it for this chapter. Who is this mystery person? You'll have to wait to find out. I'm still unsure of my writing. Reviews and constructive (positive) criticism is welcome. Thanks so much for reading, I'll add the second/final chapter soon.


	2. Unexpected Comfort

**Alright so here's the last chapter, sorry this is a short story. I wish i'd been able to write anther chapter or two. I may do so yet now that the season is done. This was written before the Season Finale on Thursday so I had no clue what was going to happen. Now that they chose to end season 1 the way they did i'm interested to see where Season 2 will go. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. :)**

Sara had been awoken by a sound, at first she couldn't place it. Then she realized it was someone sobbing. Not just sobbing but the choking sob of someone grieving loss. She rose from the captain's chair where she'd fallen asleep while studying one of Rip's old texts. After everyone had gone to their quarters she had stayed in the cockpit. She liked being alone, they were all hurting from losing Snart; but it's not the first time she'd lost someone. Nor would it be her last.

Not sure of what she'd heard she went back to studying the text with information from 2085; giggling to herself as she imagined Oliver Queen at 100 years old. The mental picture was not pretty. Soon she heard the noise again, this time asking Gideon if there was anything abnormal currently happening on the ship. Gideon told her that the coms to Rip's Cabin were open and that he currently seemed to be in distress. Gideon showed her the video feed from Rip's cabin indeed confirming he wasn't doing well. He appeared to be sleeping rather fitfully and distressed. Having been through this with Oliver post Island life; she slipped quietly from the chair and made her way to Rip's cabin. She doesn't fancy Rip in a sexual way, but she does consider him a friend.

She stands quietly outside his door which is actually open and observes him for a minute. Sleeping more restlessly that he was a few minutes ago he began mumbling in his sleep. She couldn't make out what he was saying but he soon began thrashing about. Afraid he would hurt himself she rushed to his side and tried to calm him. When that didn't work she attempted to wake him from his nightmare. After failing a couple of time she was finally successful but had to duck his fists as they came at her in his heighted agitation. He settled momentarily until she saw his eyes go wide and he brought his fist against his mouth. Sara got the message and quickly helped him to the bathroom once again where he lost the water he'd consumed earlier. Sara rubbed his back trying to comfort her friend the best she could. Having been through this with Oliver is wasn't hard to get back into the rhythm again.

Rip finally settled to dry heaving a few times, his stomach still trying to forcefully expel what was no longer there. Falling against the wall for support again he looked pleadingly at Sara; who while he was occupied had managed to find and wet a towel and fill a glass with water. Both of which Rip took from her gratefully. Wiping away the sweat from his now overheated body he took small sips from the glass as instructed by Sara. "Can't have any more repeats." She said sympathetically. Rip offered her the smallest of smiles and resettled against the wall.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sara quietly asked. Rip shook his head slightly as a soft hiccup emanated from within. Silence settled between them; Sara quietly studying her friend. "You know I went through something similar with Oliver." Rip opened his eyes slightly to study her intentions. "You know Oliver has done some things he wished he hadn't done. Like becoming a killer, betraying family and friends. But also loosing those he loved in the process." Rip looked at her questioningly

"That's what all this (gesturing around their currently location) about right? What Druce told you?" "You feeling guilty about Savage and the death of your wife and son?" Rip was astonished, Sara understood more than he realized.

"Druce was right, I let Savage live so he could kill my family. It's all my fault they are dead!" tears began to fall again; "Because I couldn't kill him when I had the chance." "This whole Mission is a failure!"

"Says Who?" Sara snapped; "Savage is a monster and there's no way you could have known that the time council's only plan was to let him kill Miranda and Jonas. To allow him to rule the world."

"Yes but that doesn't justify letting him kill my family." Rip replied a single tear escaping.  
"Savage is a bastard and were going to kill him." Sara said "We'll get Kendra and Carter back and we will succeed. You've got to trust us." "We've all overcome some pretty big odds to be here…. "Rip, We will succeed." Rip looked at here doubtfully but understood what she was saying.

Sara helped him up off the floor and got him back to his room. Once settled Sara and Rip shared stories of family and friends. Sara even shared some untold stories of Oliver Queen in his pretty boy billionaire days. Eventually Rip opened up more about his past life and his family before his world ended. Together they forged a deeper friendship and they both vowed to end Savage once and for all.


End file.
